On October 14th of this year, my husband and I will mark our 35th wedding anniversary.
It's funny how people react when we share that news. "Oh, wow, that's amazing!" "35 years? Wow, that's a long time!"
Yes, in some respects it is a long time. Especially in a state like California where seven years is considered a long-term marriage. "The next best thing" is quite a lure in this place and time.
But marriage is not smartphone technology.
My friend, Norma Berg, sent me a piece of writing that really hit home with me. It's called The Burned Biscuit and even though I did an internet search to find the author, I was unsuccessful. Over the years, Chris and I have not laid our problems at God's feet, as the article suggests, but have worked through them from a place of value and respect for each other. I think that's kept the door open for God's grace to enter when it's most needed.
I also have to say that my husband is the most patient, supportive man I know. What he's put up with from me over the years would fill volumes. He could have run when I first started dowsing, or talking about my past lives, or scanned his notes for open-bottomed Bb's. Instead, he just keeps loving me. There's no upgrading from that for me.
Here is the forward as she sent it:
Pass Me a Biscuit
When I was a kid, my Grandma liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day. On that evening so long ago, she had placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my Granddad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!
Yet all my Granddad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Grandma and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Grandma apologize to my Granddad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."
Later that night, I went to kiss Grandaddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Grandma put in a hard day of work today and she's real tired. And besides -a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults, and choosing to celebrate each other's differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
Yet all my Granddad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Grandma and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Grandma apologize to my Granddad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."
Later that night, I went to kiss Grandaddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Grandma put in a hard day of work today and she's real tired. And besides -a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults, and choosing to celebrate each other's differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today... that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!
So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine. And PLEASE pass this along to someone who has enriched your life. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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