Ah, Those Stubborn Shadows

I'm about half-way through a training program to be certified as a Transformational Coach.  Since I do a lot of coaching in my practice, it seemed like a logical and expansive step.

Interestingly, I have encountered a lot of resistance to the self-discovery exercises that have taken up most of the training to date.  Some old, stubborn negativity has been groaning up from the dark recesses of my subconscious like Marlow's ghost.

In moments of clear consciousness, I am taken aback by my thoughts and resulting behavior.  Who is this judgmental, cranky person?  Didn't I eradicate her long ago?

Apparently not.

See that snake in the shadow I unwittingly photographed on a walk one day?  Snakes carry the Medicine of Transmutation -- as they are able to hold poison without the poison killing them.  I never expected that this certification would be yet another path of purification for me, but that's exactly what it has been. 

The good news is that it didn't take me as long as it in the past to recognize the shadow and apply some Light to diffuse it.  Very good news, indeed.  Otherwise I'd worry that I haven't made any progress at all in nearly 25 years of working on myself.

Computer Hangover

After yoga yesterday morning, I spent most of the day and much of the evening at the computer, working on writing I had to get done.  I was in a great place mentally, feeling creatively juicy and productive. 

As the day wore on, a dull, congested feeling began to edge out the elation of accomplishment.  By 10 pm I was depleted and went to bed. 

But a good night's sleep?  Not to be had.  I tossed and turned most of the night, dozing lightly and then just waking up.

At some point it occurred to me that I had OD'd on the computer.  That staring at a monitor for so many hours did something hideous to my brain, even as I was getting so much done.

This morning I was able to sleep in a bit, but the computer hangover lingers.  Anyone else out there experience this sort of thing?

I definitely need to get better at taking some real breaks when I spend a lot of time with keyboard and monitor.  The kind of suggestion I often make to stressed-out clients, of course!
 

Even When You Don't Think It's Working ...

Here's an experience I had in my practice with a darling 5-year-old boy.

 

I have never seen a child more active!  He bounced all over my waiting room and inner office, seemingly incapable of keeping his busy, curious little hands off just about anything he happened to see.  He had questions about everything, and made astonishing connections from the answers.  Obviously very, very bright!

 

His mom said that at school, the teacher was frustrated with him and there was talk of exploring medication.  

 

I managed to get him to try the Child's TAT Pose and say, "I am calm."  He didn't comply with any of my repeated requests to "look at things with your eyes instead of your  hands," and it took threatening to unplug the little floor fountain I have in my waiting room to get him to stop splashing the water all over; but each time I asked him (about 4 times over a 45-minute period) to go into "The Pose," he complied immediately. 

 

Still, by the time he and his exhausted, frazzled mom left, I wondered if they had gotten any value from their time with me.

This is an excerpt from the email I received from his mom the day after our session:

The calming strategy has been very helpful and I have had E. use it already! I have started doing it myself! :) We flew [out of state] to visit  family last night, but when we were on the shuttle to the airport E. started to get very hyper.  I had him do the pose and he was actually calm the rest of the way!  When we left your office, E. fell asleep right away!  I came home and ended up taking a 3 hour nap that felt more relaxed that any sleep I have had for awhile. So thank you for that! 

 And this is why I love TAT :-)