I received this email today that really tickled me. 

I've edited it somewhat to protect the writer's privacy:

 I believe it may have been a couple years ago, my older daughter told me about a very spiritual woman she sat next to on a plane, This woman worked in the fields of hypnosis and writing analysis. She looked at M's handwriting and was quite accurate regarding her personality. M was very intrigued with the process and eventually saw a hypnotist in her hometown, which is in [a different part of the state.]

Fast-forward to this weekend over brunch with M. I was again lamenting about [younger daughter's] complexion. E is 13 now, and she is the one I am concerned with. During our discussion, we simultaneously, brought up the idea of hypnosis for E to help her break her habit of "picking her face." I told her about how I had once talked to this lady name Lucy, and M told me again about the "lady on the plane." She said that she had her card in her wallet, but had since cleaned it out, and didn't think she had it anymore. Low and behold, there's your card! As she passed it across the table, we both read your name, Lucy, one and the same! We both sat there quite stunned at this coincidence, and that's when I realized that maybe it was time I tried to set something up with you for E.

 

My response to the writer included information about TAT and EFT, as well as hypnosis to help E.  My approach would include stress management strategies and behavior modification in addition to hypnosis for clear skin.

 

How fun that here, two roads led back to "Go see Lucy!"

 

 

 

 

Feeling Left Out

One of my young clients sent me an email about an incident with good friends over the weekend that triggered some old patterns.  The result was that she was stuck in feelings of sadness and exclusion.  Here's my reply:

My suggestion is for you to take a few moments to yourself and try the following:

 

1.      Go into TAT heart pose (left hand on heart/chest, right hand over left)

2.      Say: Everything that led up to this feeling excluded happened.

               Notice what, if anything comes up for you. Then:

3.      Say:  All that happened, it's over.  It's now safe for me to feel good.

               Notice what, if anything comes up for you. Then:

4.      Think about how you'd like to feel or be and put it into this sentence:

               I choose to be/feel _________________ (happy? calm?  connected to my friends? okay?)

 Aside from this TAT intervention, think about your need to be by yourself sometimes, or with one friend and not the other.  It doesn't mean you don't like them or want to stop being friends.  Consider that in this case, your friends may not be very different from you.

Let me know how you're doing.

We Truly Are All One

Last week one of my TAT Professionals colleagues initiated an interesting discussion on our forum. 

Her initial question was, "How does TAT work?"  This morphed into, "How is it that we can do TAT on behalf of others," and elicited several testimonials about how we practitioners experience benefits as a side effect of our work on our clients.

In a chapter entitled "The Quantum You," Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, author Dr. Joe Dispenza offers a simple but profound explanation.

Essentially once two particles can be initially linked in some way, they will always be bonded together beyond space and time.  As a result, anything that is done to one will be done to the other even though they are spatially separated from one another. This means that since we are made up of particles, we are all implicitly connected beyond space and time.   What we do unto others, we do to ourselves.

 This Golden Rule effect (as I think of it) underscores the importance of intention in every aspect of our lives.  This is why a strong rapport between you and any healer, body worker or partner is so crucial to the success of  your joint endeavor.  If the person who's working with you, touching you, healing you is truly holding your highest good in mind and heart, the result can be magical.  For both of you.

Ah, Those Stubborn Shadows

I'm about half-way through a training program to be certified as a Transformational Coach.  Since I do a lot of coaching in my practice, it seemed like a logical and expansive step.

Interestingly, I have encountered a lot of resistance to the self-discovery exercises that have taken up most of the training to date.  Some old, stubborn negativity has been groaning up from the dark recesses of my subconscious like Marlow's ghost.

In moments of clear consciousness, I am taken aback by my thoughts and resulting behavior.  Who is this judgmental, cranky person?  Didn't I eradicate her long ago?

Apparently not.

See that snake in the shadow I unwittingly photographed on a walk one day?  Snakes carry the Medicine of Transmutation -- as they are able to hold poison without the poison killing them.  I never expected that this certification would be yet another path of purification for me, but that's exactly what it has been. 

The good news is that it didn't take me as long as it in the past to recognize the shadow and apply some Light to diffuse it.  Very good news, indeed.  Otherwise I'd worry that I haven't made any progress at all in nearly 25 years of working on myself.

Computer Hangover

After yoga yesterday morning, I spent most of the day and much of the evening at the computer, working on writing I had to get done.  I was in a great place mentally, feeling creatively juicy and productive. 

As the day wore on, a dull, congested feeling began to edge out the elation of accomplishment.  By 10 pm I was depleted and went to bed. 

But a good night's sleep?  Not to be had.  I tossed and turned most of the night, dozing lightly and then just waking up.

At some point it occurred to me that I had OD'd on the computer.  That staring at a monitor for so many hours did something hideous to my brain, even as I was getting so much done.

This morning I was able to sleep in a bit, but the computer hangover lingers.  Anyone else out there experience this sort of thing?

I definitely need to get better at taking some real breaks when I spend a lot of time with keyboard and monitor.  The kind of suggestion I often make to stressed-out clients, of course!
 

Even When You Don't Think It's Working ...

Here's an experience I had in my practice with a darling 5-year-old boy.

 

I have never seen a child more active!  He bounced all over my waiting room and inner office, seemingly incapable of keeping his busy, curious little hands off just about anything he happened to see.  He had questions about everything, and made astonishing connections from the answers.  Obviously very, very bright!

 

His mom said that at school, the teacher was frustrated with him and there was talk of exploring medication.  

 

I managed to get him to try the Child's TAT Pose and say, "I am calm."  He didn't comply with any of my repeated requests to "look at things with your eyes instead of your  hands," and it took threatening to unplug the little floor fountain I have in my waiting room to get him to stop splashing the water all over; but each time I asked him (about 4 times over a 45-minute period) to go into "The Pose," he complied immediately. 

 

Still, by the time he and his exhausted, frazzled mom left, I wondered if they had gotten any value from their time with me.

This is an excerpt from the email I received from his mom the day after our session:

The calming strategy has been very helpful and I have had E. use it already! I have started doing it myself! :) We flew [out of state] to visit  family last night, but when we were on the shuttle to the airport E. started to get very hyper.  I had him do the pose and he was actually calm the rest of the way!  When we left your office, E. fell asleep right away!  I came home and ended up taking a 3 hour nap that felt more relaxed that any sleep I have had for awhile. So thank you for that! 

 And this is why I love TAT :-)

Doing it Anyway

One of my clients went outside of her comfort zone this past weekend.  I had asked her to email me about her experience.

She reported back that she had gone to the movies by herself and had sent out an email inquiry regarding a class she's wanted to take.

Because she felt "nervous and a little uncomfortable," she had  not seen that she had indeed taken two strong actions until I pointed it out to her. 

Yes, she has the inner strength to live a more confident life and this weekend she proved it to herself.  The more she lives her life from that strong, increasingly confident place inside, the stronger and more confident she will be.

In the office, we will continue with EFT, TAT and hypnosis to fill-in those old grooves of nervousness and discomfort, step by step.

 

The Body Knows!

As part of my training in Essentials of Energy Psychology Level I before the ACEP Conference last week, I finally "got" muscle testing.

I've lost track of how many times over the years muscle testing has been part of a given curriculum for me.  For some reason, my brain applauded the principle but rejected the method...until now.

 When I wrote about this on my A Higher Perspective Facebook page last week, Beverly asked for an explanation of muscle testing.

I would put muscle testing under the category of ideomotor responses. The way a pendulum swings differently for "yes" and "no" when dangled from one's fingers is an ideomotor response.  The way we can designate a "yes" finger response and a "no" finger response in hypnosis is an ideomotor response.  The way the body sways forward as a "yes" and backward as a "no" is an ideomotor response.  These are all subconscious/unconscious physical responses to simple yes or no thoughts.  As the old saying goes, where thoughts go, energy follows.  Ideomotor responses of all types are graphic evidence of this.

With muscle testing, the client holds an arm out (it doesn't matter which one).  The arm can either be to the side, as shown in the illustration above, or straight out front.  The client is asked to think of something specific and hold the arm firm.  If the specific thought is true for the client, the arm will hold firm under a light pressure from the practitioner's hand or fingertips.  If the specific thought is not true for the client, he or she will be hard pressed (no pun intended) to hold firm.

If the client's energy is not balanced, the muscle testing will be skewed.  The same is true for any of the ideomotor responses.

I often teach clients about the pendulum as a way of illustrating the power of our thoughts and the relationship between thoughts and physical response.  In a way, the pendulum's movement mirrors the connection between handwriting and the brain.  Thoughts create movement. 

In the past, when the pendulum demonstration was clearly skewed (for example, both the "yes" and the "no" were the same movement) I knew there was a way to fix the energy imbalance, but was not able to perform the energy corrections.  No longer!  Now I have a skill set for correcting energy imbalances, regardless of what ideomotor response we're testing.

Muscle testing clients for how many sessions they need is just one use to which I plan to put this new skill set. The possibilities are limitless!

Thanks for asking, Beverly :-)

All Aboard the Energy Train

Being at the ACEP International Conference gives me such a wonderful feeling of belonging.  This, in spite of the fact that I identified myself as a hypnotherapist  long before I ever heard of EFT, let alone TAT.

I love the reverence for research-based findings in this group, while maintaining high respect for the transpersonal and esoteric elements of working with energy that are impossible to prove scientifically.

I am now done with the Essentials of Energy Health Part I training.  Part II is being offered at the end of the Conference and I didn't sign up for it because I was concerned about overwhelm at that point.  The past two days have helped me integrate previous trainings in a new, more usable way.  My clients can expect some dazzling new methods of identifying obstacles in their progress, and clearing those obstacles.  Whereas I have been using a pendulum to determine the direction of any given session, I can now offer my clients applied kinesiology or "muscle testing" to involve them in the process.  I can now also identify and correct energy imbalances.  How cool is that!

Tomorrow the regular Conference begins, as does my role as a volunteer for the first time.  I will let you know how that goes.

Tapas' Wisdom & Hannah's Courage

 

 Recently Tapas Fleming, creator of the Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) shared an intimate exchange between her and her college-aged daughter, Hannah.  Hannah gave her mom permission to share the conversation with the TAT community, and Tapas has given me permission to share it with you.  I think you will agree that everything about this conversation is extraordinary:  the openness of Hannah with her mom, Tapas's sweet wisdom to her daughter, and Hannah's openness to making such a private conversation public because of the good that could come from it.

Here's an excerpt:

Hannah texted me, “I’m just now feeling very very low about my body image.” 

After a few exchanges, she texted, “I’m still as fat as ever. And I’ve thus far been unable to make lasting change."

 

I asked, “How come no lasting change?" She wrote, "I guess because I’m addicted to sugar and fill voids in my life with  food.  ‘Cause I’m weak and dumb and can’t control myself."

 My heart went out to my baby girl.

I offered for her to call me and she did.   She told me how she thought, ”If I just would have started a year ago, I would be where I want to be.  I know what I’m supposed to do, I just don’t do it. I did TAT, but it didn't help and I feel bad about that.”

I told her, ”What you’re dealing with is really your mind and all your feelings and thoughts from your whole life. You know how every time you felt sad, angry, frustrated, lonely or hurt and ate to put yourself in a temporary food coma to deal with it -- it’s all still there unresolved.
"Then there’s all the stuff you were born into because of your ancestors -- like times they starved and whenever there was food around, they stuffed themselves with the feeling that they never knew when food would be there again. Certainly there was starving on my side, and on your dad’s side,
there’s the potato famine of Ireland. 

"Then there are all the emotions and thoughts from ancestors like being short tempered, angry and frustrated and eating to put yourself into a temporary coma just to get over it.  Until you really dissolve those things, part of yourself is willfully trying to do one thing (eat less) while another part is just as strongly pushing against the willful part (eat more). It’s you pushing against yourself: it’s exhausting. And if you let down your will, you’re right under all of it again.”  

“Yes, that’s just how it feels.”  (Here’s what I realized I hadn't before:) “What you’re dealing with isn't just over-eating, you’re really dealing with the mind and all its negativity plus your emotions. The food problems are just the outward manifestation. It's the spiritual path that everyone who's working on becoming more conscious deals with for their whole life -- you're just starting early.

"People who meditate, are into psychology, trying to be closer to God or really trying to achieve anything -- it’s all the same stuff they’re dealing with. You have to do it often and keep doing it -- it’s a lifelong process.” 

 “Oh -- you never explained this about TAT,” Hannah commented.  “I thought I was supposed to do it just a few times and verything was supposed to change...and I felt bad about it because it hadn't worked.”  

“Oh no -- it’s not like that. That would be like saying,‘I meditated a few times and I’m not enlightened. So it didn't work.’

“When I had cancer, I did a full TAT session around five times a week plus visualizing myself in radiant health while doing the TAT Pose almost daily for a year.

“If you have a trauma, a single incident, then usually one or two TAT sessions clears it up. But when you have a condition like a health problem or you’re trying to lose weight or accomplish something in your life, you have to keep doing TAT about all the mind stuff and emotions that continue to be there. You might want to think of your weight loss as a one or two year project. It could happen in less time, but you need to be kind and loving and patient with yourself.” 

 

Is this not an extraordinary conversation between mother and daughter?  For more information on the TAT protocol, including the step-by-step guide to doing TAT by yourself, go to www.tatlife.com.  Deepest thanks to Tapas – and especially to Hannah – for giving us all the benefit of your combined wisdom.   

If you’re interested in experiencing the grace of a session with a TAT Pro, please contact me so we can set up an appointment either in person or via Skype. 

 

Snakes R Us

I've lived in my neighborhood for 20 years and never saw snakes around.  In the past week, I've seen three.

The first one was slithering across my driveway just as I opened my garage door to drive to work last week.  This amused me.

The second one was coiled in the middle of a nearby street and had been mortally wounded.  This was icky.

The third one I saw this morning as I was taking a walk.   This was surprising because when I took a photo, it looked just like a question mark in the middle of my body.  See?

Based on my knowledge of Animal Medicine, I would say that the Universe has been trying to get my attention.  Snake speaks of the need for change in a very specific way.  The Snake that doesn't shed his skin dies. 

I am in the process of reinventing my professional identity.  Because of growing constraints around any and all use of the term "therapy," by non-licensed healing arts professionals, I've stopped referring to myself primarily as a hypnotherapist, and no longer use the term hypnotherapy to describe the transformational hypnosis work I've been doing for 22 years. 

Healing Arts Practitioner is a mouthful and most people just stare back at me blankly when I say that.  It's been frustrating not to have good language to describe myself professionally.

On June 18. I will begin 8 weeks of formal training as a Transformational (Healing) Coach.  So much of what I do falls under the umbrella of coaching but now I'll have the appropriate credentials to back me up. 

This will come just after I take a training in Essentials of Energy Psychology s at the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP) Conference at the end of May.  I've been using Energy Psychology techniques since 1998 and am a Certified TAT Professional, but have been missing an overall perspective in a field I love.

An underlying message of Snake is to keep the excitement high in one's life to fuel one's life force.  Thanks, Snake, I'm on it!

What fun!

I recently had the opportunity to work with a 5-year-old girl.  "Mandy" came in with her dad and the three of us sat in my waiting room and chatted for a while.  She was adorable and very articulate.  She was also very serious and there was a tension in her face and body that made me sad in someone so young.

Mandy's parents have been divorced for a while, but a recent move had churned up all kinds of issues for her.  She told me that when she was with her dad, she missed her mom and when she was with her mom she missed her dad.  At her new school she just wanted to be alone.  She missed her old house.  When she spoke of missing the house before that one, her dad gently reminded her that she was an infant when they lived there and couldn't possibly remember it.  Very serious she looked at him and said, "But I miss it."

There, in my waiting room, as she was securely sitting next to her dad, I asked her to imagine a string between her and the first house.  In response to my questions, she described the string as being "thin and invisible." I offered her a pair of golden scissors to cut the string and she calmly did so.  When I asked her how that felt she smiled and said, "I feel happy."



I asked her to imagine the house she'd just moved from.  She closed her eyes and nodded.  "Imagine a cord between you and that house."  This time the cord was thick and heavy and was covered with "a hundred thorns."  We agreed that a simple pair of golden scissors wouldn't cut through it.  She excitedly thought of a big pair of scissors that she'd seen somewhere that would work.  And they did.  When I asked how she felt after cutting that big, thorny cord she smiled and said, "I feel happy!"

Then I asked if she would like me to tell her a story that I could record for her to listen to anytime.  She nodded and accompanied me into my office.  There, we talked about The Wizard of Oz and how Glinda the Good Witch floated around in a pretty bubble.  Would she like to have a big bubble to float around in?  In that bubble, she'd always feel calm and happy.  "Yes," she answered.  Between us we worked out some details that I wove into a ten-minute recording.

By the time Mandy and her dad left, there was no tension in Mandy's face or body.  She hugged me warmly and there was light in her eyes and smile.  What we did together was so simple and yet so impactful for that sweet little one. 

I am grateful to Mandy's mom for taking a chance on my work to help her daughter.  Thinking of Mandy's "I feel happy!" still makes me smile.

Changing the Default Settings

When I returned from the 6-Day TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) Symposium, I felt like a new person:  light, free, happy in ways I hadn't even imagined possible for me.  My work with clients this week has been phenomenal and I know that this is a direct result of the healing I had.

 

But as the days pass, I'm noticing an undercurrent of unsettledness.   

 

Evidently (as Grandma would say) the shift from suffering/struggling to the new paradigm is not happening smoothly but rather in fits and starts. There's a part of me that is clinging desperately to the old fears and chaos -- I can feel it and I can see it in my mind's eye.

 

 

Many of us have such a history of change ending up very, very badly -- even resulting in death.  Such deep neural pathways!

 

But change doesn't have to result in the worst.  It can absolutely result in the best, right?  What a concept!  A brand new concept that is just not quite the default yet.

 

When I can take a few steps back and look at it all from that Hawk's perspective, it's richly fascinating.  In it, not so much :-)

 

So, when I finish this post, I will be doing a full TAT session with myself, engaging this stubbornly fearful part that's only comfortable in chaos.

 

I'll let you know how it goes.

 

Another Day -- Another No Show

These past two weeks have been virulent with no-shows.  The one at 5:30 yesterday (my most popular appointment time) was just one too much and prompted the following new policy:

Hello "T"

 

I am very disappointed that you and your daughter did not keep the 5:30 appointment yesterday that I had set aside for you.  I had prepared myself, my office, your paperwork, reviewed the notes from our numerous telephone conversations and begun your daughter's file. 

 

That you haven't responded to my calls to your home and cell disappoints me further.  I hope that there hasn't been an emergency that caused your absence.

Based on this experience, and too many similar experiences, I am now requiring a credit card number to secure first appointments.  If the person doesn't give proper notice of cancellation, the credit card will be charged $160 for the session.

 I wish you and your daughter all the best.

 

Letter Ll Progress Report

              I’m only a few weeks into the practice of focused discernment between my Self and my self that I wrote about in my January newsletter.  Well, folks, it looks like it’s going to be a long, long year. 

          As much as I like to think of myself as enlightened, conscious, unfailingly kind and compassionate, real life experiences keep showing up that prove otherwise.  Just ask my husband of 35 years.  I’ve nearly bitten his head off twice in the past two days.

          We are preparing for a big remodeling of our really old kitchen.  All we’re doing is making decisions at this point and already my serenity is coming apart at the seams.

          The only thing that’s been keeping me sane is my Bikram Yoga practice.  Yes, there’s a Group-on out right now for it that’s attracting some real bozos to the studio … to the class I happen to be taking … and the challenge to stay out of judgment and anger is enormous … it’s still my best ticket to a quiet mind.

Happy 2014!!!

 

 

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language,

and next year’s words await another voice.

To make an end is to make a beginning.

 

 

T.S. Eliot (1888-1965

(Thank you, Carol Meyer)