Practicing Kindness

I've been working on my February newsletter column most of this week. Some months the column just flows out of my fingertips. Not this time. I've written and re-written numerous times until last night I refused to read it one more time before sending all the newsletter components to my wonderful web administrator, Lisa Keene.

The column is called "A Call to Kindness." In it, I am laying out a February challenge for myself and for my readers to refrain from any and all forms of nastiness throughout the month. I should have written something about this being a moment-by-moment practice because it's not even February yet and I'm already struggling with this.

This morning it was hard for me to get out of bed for yoga at 5:30. I was tired and cranky. When I arrived, I had a flash of disappointment and irritation. There was this very new instructor who is soft-spoken and conducts the class as though she's reciting a script by heart -- which may well be the case. She doesn't unlock the studio doors until the first student arrives so maybe she's as ill at ease with life in general as she is as a teacher.

I really dragged myself through class today. She's a very sweet woman, but totally unmotivating. As I lay in final savasana, my mind was buzzing with negativity and some rather unkind judgments. Remembering my intentions, and realizing how badly I'd fallen short of keeping them, I was ashamed of myself.

The instructor was folding towels as I was putting on my sweatshirt and shoes in the studio lobby. I scrambled for something positive to say, just to stem the tide of my own negative thoughts. "You are getting more confident." She lit up and her ever-present smile broadened. "Yes, she said. "Seeing you and Nancy (another "regular" about my age) makes me feel comfortable and helps me do better."

My heart energy shifted as my expanded. Yes, kindness. I like it.