Here We Go Again

I was cleaning out drawers in my office when I came upon something I’d written over six years ago: a listing of specific intentions for changing thought-patterns that were in my way.

Several issues from that time happen to be in my face right now; issues that, in spite of lots of work, have surfaced again and again my whole life.

My first reaction was to be totally discouraged and frustrated with myself: What was wrong with me? What about all my tools and resources? What about all those sessions for myself? Why so little progress? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah …

Eventually I calmed down, stepped back, and eventually another angle presented itself.

This was, after all, about core issues. Everyone has core issues. It comes with being human. For “Beatrice” it’s poor body image; for “Mary” it’s abandonment; for “Phil” it’s the drive to take responsibility for everyone and everything; for “Yvonne” it’s insecurity; for “Emily” it’s scarcity; for me it's often victimhood in some form or another.

Almost by definition core issues are those we work on, think we’ve eliminated, and come face to face with again … and again … and again. This is the proverbial onion that reveals yet another layer long after you’re ready to throw it away.

Time moves on, we move on. So it's impossible for the issues to be exactly the same. I had to stop beating myself up in order to see that, of course. Detachment offered me the higher perspective to recognize how far I've come in the six years since composing that original list -- a journey along the ol’ Sacred Spiral of life that brings me closer and closer into alignment with my Higher Self.