Even When You Don't Think It's Working ...

Here's an experience I had in my practice with a darling 5-year-old boy.

 

I have never seen a child more active!  He bounced all over my waiting room and inner office, seemingly incapable of keeping his busy, curious little hands off just about anything he happened to see.  He had questions about everything, and made astonishing connections from the answers.  Obviously very, very bright!

 

His mom said that at school, the teacher was frustrated with him and there was talk of exploring medication.  

 

I managed to get him to try the Child's TAT Pose and say, "I am calm."  He didn't comply with any of my repeated requests to "look at things with your eyes instead of your  hands," and it took threatening to unplug the little floor fountain I have in my waiting room to get him to stop splashing the water all over; but each time I asked him (about 4 times over a 45-minute period) to go into "The Pose," he complied immediately. 

 

Still, by the time he and his exhausted, frazzled mom left, I wondered if they had gotten any value from their time with me.

This is an excerpt from the email I received from his mom the day after our session:

The calming strategy has been very helpful and I have had E. use it already! I have started doing it myself! :) We flew [out of state] to visit  family last night, but when we were on the shuttle to the airport E. started to get very hyper.  I had him do the pose and he was actually calm the rest of the way!  When we left your office, E. fell asleep right away!  I came home and ended up taking a 3 hour nap that felt more relaxed that any sleep I have had for awhile. So thank you for that! 

 And this is why I love TAT :-)

Changing the Default Settings

When I returned from the 6-Day TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) Symposium, I felt like a new person:  light, free, happy in ways I hadn't even imagined possible for me.  My work with clients this week has been phenomenal and I know that this is a direct result of the healing I had.

 

But as the days pass, I'm noticing an undercurrent of unsettledness.   

 

Evidently (as Grandma would say) the shift from suffering/struggling to the new paradigm is not happening smoothly but rather in fits and starts. There's a part of me that is clinging desperately to the old fears and chaos -- I can feel it and I can see it in my mind's eye.

 

 

Many of us have such a history of change ending up very, very badly -- even resulting in death.  Such deep neural pathways!

 

But change doesn't have to result in the worst.  It can absolutely result in the best, right?  What a concept!  A brand new concept that is just not quite the default yet.

 

When I can take a few steps back and look at it all from that Hawk's perspective, it's richly fascinating.  In it, not so much :-)

 

So, when I finish this post, I will be doing a full TAT session with myself, engaging this stubbornly fearful part that's only comfortable in chaos.

 

I'll let you know how it goes.

 

Smartphone OCD

I'm having a very hard time with something.

For a long time, I only had my personal email coming to my phone.  Recently I added my business email account as well.

The intention was to make my life easier and the result has been just the opposite.

Every so often an email will show up on my home PC that never makes it to my phone so I need to read through both stacks carefully on a regular basis to make sure I don't  miss something important, like a new client inquiry.

I also now have two huge stacks of emails that need to be culled for deletions. If clutter in our homes is bad feng shui, cluttered inboxes in two places must be just as deleterious.  Not to mention the clutter all this is causing in my head!

Plus, now that I know that business emails are on my phone, I have a constant need to check and check and check.  I have developed smartphone OCD and I hate it.

I've been considering removing all emails from my phone and just having them on my home PC.  Frankly, this thought causes me great anxiety.  People expect you to have 24/7 access to their messages and don't always understand if it takes a while to get back to them.  Our technology has programmed us for impatience, hasn't it?

I've lost my perspective and can't see a solution.  As I am by nature a very solutions-oriented person, this situation is causing me great frustration.  If anyone out there has any suggestions, please feel free to share.

In the meantime, I'm off to do some TAT on this.  Don't want to bring these confused, grumpy vibes to my office this afternoon.

. 

Everything in my life is a gift ...

A colleague I particularly respect sent me the following email:

My talk was to [an association] – couldn’t believe how nervous I was, inspite of how often I do this. It think, because of my counseling background and wanting to speak especially to their particular needs, my stomach acted up a lot and I felt weak-kneed – how embarrassing; finally pulled out of it by simply telling them that I was nervous! HA!

My response to her was:

I find that experiences such as the one you describe help to keep us connected to what our clients are going through. It expands compassion and deepens understanding, ultimately making us better at what we do.

Tied Up In Knots

Most of my clients just don't get the benefit of the handwriting work I do. They balk at the idea of making changes to their handwriting and dismiss the transformational value of a daily handwriting practice.

I'd been working with "Hermine" for several months. We had a few intense sessions in my office, and then, because of the distance between us, we followed-up with weekly TAT sessions over the phone. Once in a while, in response to the TAT sessions, I recorded a new hypnotherapy CD for her and mailed it.

For the past four years, Hermine has dealt with a phobia that's manifesting as a physical condition. As with most phobias, this one is anxiety-based and the result of a hyper-vigilant response to a perceived danger.

For a number of reasons (that now leave me scratching my head) I did not initially ask for a handwriting sample from Hermine. As our phone work was not yielding the dramatic results I would have expected given the consistency of the sessions and Hermine's motivation to heal, I asked her to mail me a page of her writing.

The capital H in her autograph looked like a maze. There were little loops everywhere, especially in the upper left hand corner where she began the letter. I compared this autograph with the one on her initial consultation agreement and there was a huge difference. The H in the current autograph was significantly loopier.

When I questioned Hermine about this, she said that the sample she had sent me was representative of her usual autograph. She mentioned how much she loves the way the H in her name looks with all the loops.

I asked her if she'd be willing to take on a daily handwriting practice, focusing on the capital H in of The Vimala Alphabet which is simple and dynamic. The only loop is in a "tie stroke" that projects positive energy in one's day-to-day activities. She was less than thrilled but said she'd be willing to try anything if it would help.

We then proceeded with a TAT session.

Because of holidays, our next phone session was two weeks later. I had received a new handwriting sample from Hermine from her now-daily practice and her H's were beautiful. As we caught up, she mentioned that our last TAT session must have been particularly powerful because she had been doing much better since then. The grip of the phobia had loosened and she was less anxious overall.

I pointed out that she had been working on her handwriting since the last TAT session and suggested that it was her new H that had made the difference. The old H had been reflective of Hermine's long-standing subconscious tendency to "tie herself up in knots." The more work we did to loosen those tendencies, the tighter and more plentiful the knots became as the subconscious held on to its old, familiar, "secure" ways.

Hermine's experience was as significant for me as it was for her. It is a perfect example of why the handwriting work is foundational and essential. For more information, check out Vimala Rodgers' websites: http://www.alphabeticalblessings.com/ and http://www.iihs.com/. Sign up for Dr. Rodgers' weekly e-letter. It's free!

The Time to Heal

Yesterday I started working with a new client, a 26-year-old man who's suffered from some level of anxiety most of his life. Even though he's seen counselors and even a psychiatrist, he had no idea what what the disconnect was between mind and body that has been causing the panic attacks, jitteriness, digestive problems, etc.

He responded so quickly and beautifully to the diaphragmatic breathing I taught him, and then to the custom relaxation CD I made for him. There was a huge difference in him over the 90 minutes we spent together.

I know he'll do his homework (practice the breathing technique and listen to his CD daily) because he's wonderfully motivated to be completely well.

What a great experience for us both! Looking forward to our next session.

Asking for Help

I work with a lot of very strong people. Some of my clients have never before asked for help and their call to my office creates its own anxiety.

Many people have a chip on their shoulder about asking for help and accepting it when it's offered. They say they feel weak if they ask for help and strong when they tackle their problems on their own or just pretend those problems don't exist at all.

I see it differently. I see the strength in asking for help and accepting it. I see the courage it takes to admit that you're only human after all and don't have all the answers. Yes, it is a vulnerable position to place oneself in. And in that vulnerability is an opening for the Light to shine in and do its most sacred work.

Successful Surgery!

Well, the surgery went perfectly. There was very little bleeding and it took much less time than he thought it would. Your therapy helped tremendously, as I knew it would.

M.F.

This is a post-surgery note from a client. Getting A Higher Perspective on an upcoming surgery sets you up for less anxiety before the procedure, a smoother flow to the procedure itself and less bruising and faster recovery afterward.

Flying Phobias

Did you know that I have a 100% success rate with fear of flying? This includes the woman who changed her reservations at the last minute, watched the plane she was originally scheduled to take collide with another plane upon take off, and was so distraught she had to be completely knocked-out in order to get home later. Her husband wanted to take her to Italy for a special anniversary and she wanted to enjoy the ride. She did! 100% success rate without any negative side effects. There's not a pharmaceutical out there that can match that.

My success rate in helping people overcome panic, anxiety and other debiltating fears (driving on freeways, over bridges and through tunnels come to mind) is not 100% but for those who stick with me, it's pretty darn close.

Average length of treatment is 6 sessions and usually combines EFT with hypnotherapy. The side effects my clients report include improved sleep, better outlook, more confidence. How cool is that!

I Don't Get It ...

The other day a young woman called. She was due to take a trip in a week or so and since she's phobic about flying, she was already very anxious.

I told her that I have a 100% success rate in eliminating flying phobias.

It as almost as though she wasn't listening. She kept telling me how hard it was for her to fly and how she needed to be medicated and how she doesn't want to be medicated. She wanted to know what my process was.

I explained about the combination of EFT and hypnotherapy. I repeated that I have a 100% success rate in eliminating flying phobias and that she wouldn't need medication after our work together was complete.

She said she'd think about her options and get back to me if she were interested. She hasn't.

People are endlessly fascinating, yes?