Relax!

My absolutely favorite part of yoga is final savassana. The reward at the end of 90 minutes of torture. I crawl to it. I luxuriate in it.

Well, this morning I was just drifting into that delicious la-la-land place when I hear such moaning and groaning, huffing and puffing. Someone must have been rolling a boulder up a mountain, it was so loud.

I pull off my wash cloth/eye pillow and look to see what the heck is going on. Of course, it's "R" all the way across the room. "R" is getting up from his savassana. "R" is pulling his shirt on. That's all. Just "R." "R" who was reprimanded for checking text messages between postures the other day. "R" who can't do anything and still sets himself up in the front row. "R." "R" who has been pushing my buttons since he started coming to 6 am yoga class a few weeks ago.

First I just glared. Nothing. Of course, he has no awareness of anything but himself. Then I felt a roll of anger so red, so hot, that I had to get up. I went out and told the yoga instructor that she had to say something to him about how disruptive he is. She was a little startled because no one in yoga would guess that I could be angry – especially that angry. She smiled. I left.

And then of course he pulls up behind me at the first stop light. And he knows it's me that tattled on him. I refuse to look at him. And then he's next to me at the next stoplight. I refuse to look at him, but I just know he has this little kicked-puppy look.

By the time I got home I felt like such a jerk because obviously he just doesn't know any better. I felt so unkind in my judgment of him, in my refusal to look at him. And wondering why I let him push my buttons so.

The Declaration of the Letter Dd is, "The cause of any upset is never outside of myself." Obviously I need to write some Dd's today.

I Hate No-Shows!

Okay, I admit it: no-shows make me cranky. There I am, in my office, candle lit, mentally and spiritually prepared to work and ... no client.

The minutes tick by. I check my office voicemail, no messages. I check the hallway outside my office, no one. I call the client and the call goes straight to voicemail. I hold the intention that the client is okay. Sometimes I don't get a return call for days afterward and I'm left wondering if something terrible has happened. Occasionally it is something terrible but most of the time it's simply a case of "I forgot."

In the Agreement each client signs at the first session, there is a clause in red that I ask the person to initial. This clause specifies that I charge for any session they miss without giving me 24-hours notice. No exceptions. If someone is ill or has car trouble or something like that, I offer a phone session during the appointment time. I point this out verbally to clients as well and there's never any question.

That is, until they miss a session. Some clients immediately offer to pay for the session. Most get annoyed when I mention the missed session fee. I know that I've lost clients over this because once they pay for the missed session they have not rescheduled.

Have I mentioned that I hate no-shows?

Pre-Surgery Sessions Work!

Received from a client:

Surgery went as scripted. Not a drop of blood on the bandages when I removed them this morning and there is no bruising! I am waiting for lab results and to make a follow-up appointment, but so far could not have gone better. Thank you.

The "script" for this woman's surgery included a hypnotherapy CD I made for her with specific suggestions for her body's reaction before, during and after surgery. The bottom line was that she went in calmly, the surgery went smoothly, and her recovery was rapid and complete.

The "no bruising" is only one of the great side-effects of pre-surgery hypnotherapy!

Everything in my life is a gift ...

A colleague I particularly respect sent me the following email:

My talk was to [an association] – couldn’t believe how nervous I was, inspite of how often I do this. It think, because of my counseling background and wanting to speak especially to their particular needs, my stomach acted up a lot and I felt weak-kneed – how embarrassing; finally pulled out of it by simply telling them that I was nervous! HA!

My response to her was:

I find that experiences such as the one you describe help to keep us connected to what our clients are going through. It expands compassion and deepens understanding, ultimately making us better at what we do.

Tied Up In Knots

Most of my clients just don't get the benefit of the handwriting work I do. They balk at the idea of making changes to their handwriting and dismiss the transformational value of a daily handwriting practice.

I'd been working with "Hermine" for several months. We had a few intense sessions in my office, and then, because of the distance between us, we followed-up with weekly TAT sessions over the phone. Once in a while, in response to the TAT sessions, I recorded a new hypnotherapy CD for her and mailed it.

For the past four years, Hermine has dealt with a phobia that's manifesting as a physical condition. As with most phobias, this one is anxiety-based and the result of a hyper-vigilant response to a perceived danger.

For a number of reasons (that now leave me scratching my head) I did not initially ask for a handwriting sample from Hermine. As our phone work was not yielding the dramatic results I would have expected given the consistency of the sessions and Hermine's motivation to heal, I asked her to mail me a page of her writing.

The capital H in her autograph looked like a maze. There were little loops everywhere, especially in the upper left hand corner where she began the letter. I compared this autograph with the one on her initial consultation agreement and there was a huge difference. The H in the current autograph was significantly loopier.

When I questioned Hermine about this, she said that the sample she had sent me was representative of her usual autograph. She mentioned how much she loves the way the H in her name looks with all the loops.

I asked her if she'd be willing to take on a daily handwriting practice, focusing on the capital H in of The Vimala Alphabet which is simple and dynamic. The only loop is in a "tie stroke" that projects positive energy in one's day-to-day activities. She was less than thrilled but said she'd be willing to try anything if it would help.

We then proceeded with a TAT session.

Because of holidays, our next phone session was two weeks later. I had received a new handwriting sample from Hermine from her now-daily practice and her H's were beautiful. As we caught up, she mentioned that our last TAT session must have been particularly powerful because she had been doing much better since then. The grip of the phobia had loosened and she was less anxious overall.

I pointed out that she had been working on her handwriting since the last TAT session and suggested that it was her new H that had made the difference. The old H had been reflective of Hermine's long-standing subconscious tendency to "tie herself up in knots." The more work we did to loosen those tendencies, the tighter and more plentiful the knots became as the subconscious held on to its old, familiar, "secure" ways.

Hermine's experience was as significant for me as it was for her. It is a perfect example of why the handwriting work is foundational and essential. For more information, check out Vimala Rodgers' websites: http://www.alphabeticalblessings.com/ and http://www.iihs.com/. Sign up for Dr. Rodgers' weekly e-letter. It's free!

Essential Healing

Essential Healing is the name I've given to a wonderful interactive hypnotherapy technique I've perfected over the years. I developed Essential Healing from the awareness that when the subconscious adopts a specific behavior, it thinks it's being of service. The ability to speak directly with the part in charge of a specific behavior (i.e., night eating, procrastination, self-sabotage, etc.) opens up invaluable avenues of information and healing.

I love Essential Healing sessions and had the opportunity to do one yesterday. The client not only accessed her Inner Wisdom, but also the part in charge of a behavioral pattern that has been increasingly in her way and quite baffling to her. The client got a clear picture of the exact time in her life when this part (and the behavior) first joined her. Then we worked with the client's Problem-Solving Mind to come up with three healthy, new ways for that part to be of service, immediately replacing the unpleasant pattern in place for many years. The client was stunned by the clarity of information she received, and the beautiful flow of the session. As a strong woman, I also think she appreciated the fact that all of the answers came directly from her -- from different parts of her powerful mind and being -- and that she received a spiritual boost, as well.

Essential Healing is my signature hypnotherapy technique, one that I taught for nine years at Marilyn Gordon's Center for Hypnotherapy Certification. Not every hypnotherapist is comfortable doing this kind of deep, transformational work. It takes experience, patience and great care. What a privilege it is for me to facilitate such marvelous healing experiences for people!

The Time to Heal

Yesterday I started working with a new client, a 26-year-old man who's suffered from some level of anxiety most of his life. Even though he's seen counselors and even a psychiatrist, he had no idea what what the disconnect was between mind and body that has been causing the panic attacks, jitteriness, digestive problems, etc.

He responded so quickly and beautifully to the diaphragmatic breathing I taught him, and then to the custom relaxation CD I made for him. There was a huge difference in him over the 90 minutes we spent together.

I know he'll do his homework (practice the breathing technique and listen to his CD daily) because he's wonderfully motivated to be completely well.

What a great experience for us both! Looking forward to our next session.