Since I've switched from 6 am to 9:30 am Bikram three times a week, my body is happier but my mind keeps going into judgment about the vast difference in the quality of practice between the two times.
The 6 am group is steady, consistent, supremely focused, aware and respectful of the concept of yoga.
The 9:30 group is all over the place. This morning a woman walked in nearly 20 minutes late and planted herself in the front row. Then she proceeded to fidget through the remainder of the class.
At first, I was really, really angry. What nerve! It's bad enough to come in so inexcusably late, but then why not take an inconspicuous spot in the back row? And since she was in the very front, why was it so important to keep adjusting her top, her bottom, her hair ...
About half-way into the 90-minute practice, my attention was drawn to the woman on her left who was also in my direct line of vision. If I was angry, she was furious. We caught each other's eye a time or two and signaled our mutual disgust. It felt good to have a companion in this unfortunate experience and I felt myself relax a little.
Then, at one point, I noticed the Fidgeting Late Woman checking out her toes. She continued to check out her toes as though that was the most compelling, fascinating activity ever invented. I couldn't help it, I started to laugh. I mean really laugh. The Teeth-Gritting Woman glanced at me and kept gritting. I stopped laughing but it was too late: the anger was completely gone. And so was my connection to the Teeth-Gritting Woman; we had lost the bond created by our wounds because I wasn't wounded anymore.
I love yoga.
Showing posts with label Perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perspective. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Friday, January 28, 2011
Practicing Kindness
I've been working on my February newsletter column most of this week. Some months the column just flows out of my fingertips. Not this time. I've written and re-written numerous times until last night I refused to read it one more time before sending all the newsletter components to my wonderful web administrator, Lisa Keene.
The column is called "A Call to Kindness." In it, I am laying out a February challenge for myself and for my readers to refrain from any and all forms of nastiness throughout the month. I should have written something about this being a moment-by-moment practice because it's not even February yet and I'm already struggling with this.
This morning it was hard for me to get out of bed for yoga at 5:30. I was tired and cranky. When I arrived, I had a flash of disappointment and irritation. There was this very new instructor who is soft-spoken and conducts the class as though she's reciting a script by heart -- which may well be the case. She doesn't unlock the studio doors until the first student arrives so maybe she's as ill at ease with life in general as she is as a teacher.
I really dragged myself through class today. She's a very sweet woman, but totally unmotivating. As I lay in final savasana, my mind was buzzing with negativity and some rather unkind judgments. Remembering my intentions, and realizing how badly I'd fallen short of keeping them, I was ashamed of myself.
The instructor was folding towels as I was putting on my sweatshirt and shoes in the studio lobby. I scrambled for something positive to say, just to stem the tide of my own negative thoughts. "You are getting more confident." She lit up and her ever-present smile broadened. "Yes, she said. "Seeing you and Nancy (another "regular" about my age) makes me feel comfortable and helps me do better."
My heart energy shifted as my expanded. Yes, kindness. I like it.
The column is called "A Call to Kindness." In it, I am laying out a February challenge for myself and for my readers to refrain from any and all forms of nastiness throughout the month. I should have written something about this being a moment-by-moment practice because it's not even February yet and I'm already struggling with this.
This morning it was hard for me to get out of bed for yoga at 5:30. I was tired and cranky. When I arrived, I had a flash of disappointment and irritation. There was this very new instructor who is soft-spoken and conducts the class as though she's reciting a script by heart -- which may well be the case. She doesn't unlock the studio doors until the first student arrives so maybe she's as ill at ease with life in general as she is as a teacher.
I really dragged myself through class today. She's a very sweet woman, but totally unmotivating. As I lay in final savasana, my mind was buzzing with negativity and some rather unkind judgments. Remembering my intentions, and realizing how badly I'd fallen short of keeping them, I was ashamed of myself.
The instructor was folding towels as I was putting on my sweatshirt and shoes in the studio lobby. I scrambled for something positive to say, just to stem the tide of my own negative thoughts. "You are getting more confident." She lit up and her ever-present smile broadened. "Yes, she said. "Seeing you and Nancy (another "regular" about my age) makes me feel comfortable and helps me do better."
My heart energy shifted as my expanded. Yes, kindness. I like it.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I did it!
I just finished the first of a series of webinars with Tapas Fleming. "Practicing Presence" is a requirement of my certification process as a TAT Practitioner.
To participate in the class, I had to purchase a webcam and learn how to use it. It seemed daunting, but was remarkably, relatively simple. I have to admit that the biggest hurdle was my own resistance to the whole process. I hated the whole idea of a virtual gathering and judged it to be cold and undesirable.
Imagine my surprise as I found myself enjoying the opportunity to connect with people all over the world -- to see and hear them.
How many other places in my life am I holding myself back with these ungrounded opinions?
To participate in the class, I had to purchase a webcam and learn how to use it. It seemed daunting, but was remarkably, relatively simple. I have to admit that the biggest hurdle was my own resistance to the whole process. I hated the whole idea of a virtual gathering and judged it to be cold and undesirable.
Imagine my surprise as I found myself enjoying the opportunity to connect with people all over the world -- to see and hear them.
How many other places in my life am I holding myself back with these ungrounded opinions?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Perspective
When I fumble into my car and head for the Bikram Yoga studio at 5:40 am, I'm often feeling pretty pleased with myself.
When I reach the corner of Crow Canyon and Camino Ramon, there's usually a woman waiting to cross the street. Sometimes I get there just in time for my light to turn red for her to cross. I have found myself looking for her, anticipating seeing her. She has become an important part of my day.
It always strikes me that she's not only up, but dressed and going to work at that hour.
I feel a deep sense of respect for that woman. I don't know her, but she is important to me. I honor her and thank her for the perspective she offers.
When I reach the corner of Crow Canyon and Camino Ramon, there's usually a woman waiting to cross the street. Sometimes I get there just in time for my light to turn red for her to cross. I have found myself looking for her, anticipating seeing her. She has become an important part of my day.
It always strikes me that she's not only up, but dressed and going to work at that hour.
I feel a deep sense of respect for that woman. I don't know her, but she is important to me. I honor her and thank her for the perspective she offers.
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