[Your May newsletter column] helped me see how a big disappointment had
manifested without my understanding it as such. Your suggestions are excellent,
ending with a gratitude practice which I closely follow each evening, each day,
and hopefully each moment. A good book resource is "Living Life as a Thank You"
by Nina Lesowitz and Mary Beth Sammons. It's not well edited. They stretched
it out too much, but the beginning part gives lots of resource websites.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Comment on "This Is Not What I Signed Up For"
This was sent via email from S., a cherished newsletter reader:
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Huffington Post article of interest
Check out Maddy Dychtwald's insightful comment about family redefined in her most recent Huffington Post blog on How J. Lo's Screaming Orgasm Redefines Family at http://huffingtonpost.com/maddy-dychtwald/
The unprecedented stress on families is showing up not only in the adults but the children -- especially teenagers. Home is not a peaceful place for too many of our kids. Chronic anxiety is generating insomnia, panic attacks and specific anxiety (such as test anxiety) in many of the teenagers coming to me for help. Our kids are very stressed out and have even less emotional maturity to deal with their stress as their stressed-out adult family members.
The unprecedented stress on families is showing up not only in the adults but the children -- especially teenagers. Home is not a peaceful place for too many of our kids. Chronic anxiety is generating insomnia, panic attacks and specific anxiety (such as test anxiety) in many of the teenagers coming to me for help. Our kids are very stressed out and have even less emotional maturity to deal with their stress as their stressed-out adult family members.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
What are the odds?
The new client was very late and discomfitted by his lateness. After filling out his paperwork, he finally relaxed enough to look around my inner office. "Oh," he said, looking at the Tree of Life tapestry behind my chair, "I have that same thing. Got it in Oregon." Then we both said, "Ashland," at the same time.
What are the odds?
What are the odds?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Shattered Expectations
It is human to expect that we live to a ripe old age, with a loving partner and healthy children and grandchildren, having been recognized and rewarded for our professional skills and contributions ...
It doesn't always work that way, does it.
My May newsletter column offered some ways to cope with disappointments great and small. You can access that column on my website: www.ahigherperspective.com.
The Buddhist perspective, as I understand it) would be that it is our attachment to things being a certain way that leads to our suffering when they aren't. Written out like that, it sounds so simple and makes so much sense. Letting go of that attachment is a different story.
Letting go of these core attachments is not a big-picture issue but a moment-by-moment practice. Again, easier said than done. Sometimes there's some cleaning up of the past that needs to take place before we can clearly focus on the now.
A daily handwriting practice can help with both aspects. EFT can help with dissolving old resentments and bitterness. Hypnotherapy can help to create positive new channels of thinking and behaving. A spiritual practice of some sort can reinforce the infinite nature of our being and give us much-needed perspective.
What works for you?
It doesn't always work that way, does it.
My May newsletter column offered some ways to cope with disappointments great and small. You can access that column on my website: www.ahigherperspective.com.
The Buddhist perspective, as I understand it) would be that it is our attachment to things being a certain way that leads to our suffering when they aren't. Written out like that, it sounds so simple and makes so much sense. Letting go of that attachment is a different story.
Letting go of these core attachments is not a big-picture issue but a moment-by-moment practice. Again, easier said than done. Sometimes there's some cleaning up of the past that needs to take place before we can clearly focus on the now.
A daily handwriting practice can help with both aspects. EFT can help with dissolving old resentments and bitterness. Hypnotherapy can help to create positive new channels of thinking and behaving. A spiritual practice of some sort can reinforce the infinite nature of our being and give us much-needed perspective.
What works for you?
Be Kind Because Everyone Is Fighting a Battle
Once in a while I get contacted by high school students who want to interview a hypnotherapist for a paper they're writing. So when V.J. from Washington High School contacted me via email, I was happy to schedule an appointment for her to come in.
Communication was informal to the point of irritation for me. Aha, I thought, here's a high school student who really doesn't know how to write. What a shame!
V.J. turned out to be a sophomore, so was younger than the usual juniors and seniors working on the projects I've been involved with before. She seemed ill at ease and tentative. The first question she asked me was rather surprising, "Why did you become a psychologist?"
"I'm not a psychologist," I answered. "I'm a hypnotherapist." Well, she didn't even know what that was and stumbled on the word again and again. She had found me on TherapyTribe.com and assumed that since I was listed there I must be a psychologist. She hadn't looked at my website. So what have you done, I found myself wondering with a mental snort. I forced myself to be patient and kind when I really wanted to be snippy and condescending.
Her questions were rudimentary and even with my extended explanations about the nature of my work, we were done with the formal interview in about 15 minutes. So I offered to record a hypnotherapy CD for her and she accepted.
"What's going on in your life that you might need some help with," I asked perfunctorily.
Her reply shocked me to the core. Her father had been murdered last year. Her step-mother and step-brothers were now on trial for the crime. V.J. has had to go back and forth to the San Joaquin Valley to attend the trial. Her biggest problem was that she had a hard time "facing" the step-mother she had grown attached to, had gone shopping with, etc. V.J. mentioned that it had been hard for her to concentrate on school with all that was happening. But she was trying because it had been important to her dad for her to get good grades so she had actually pulled up her poor grades to an all-time high since his death.
Amazing how quickly perspective changes when we stop judging and start listening with our hearts.
Communication was informal to the point of irritation for me. Aha, I thought, here's a high school student who really doesn't know how to write. What a shame!
V.J. turned out to be a sophomore, so was younger than the usual juniors and seniors working on the projects I've been involved with before. She seemed ill at ease and tentative. The first question she asked me was rather surprising, "Why did you become a psychologist?"
"I'm not a psychologist," I answered. "I'm a hypnotherapist." Well, she didn't even know what that was and stumbled on the word again and again. She had found me on TherapyTribe.com and assumed that since I was listed there I must be a psychologist. She hadn't looked at my website. So what have you done, I found myself wondering with a mental snort. I forced myself to be patient and kind when I really wanted to be snippy and condescending.
Her questions were rudimentary and even with my extended explanations about the nature of my work, we were done with the formal interview in about 15 minutes. So I offered to record a hypnotherapy CD for her and she accepted.
"What's going on in your life that you might need some help with," I asked perfunctorily.
Her reply shocked me to the core. Her father had been murdered last year. Her step-mother and step-brothers were now on trial for the crime. V.J. has had to go back and forth to the San Joaquin Valley to attend the trial. Her biggest problem was that she had a hard time "facing" the step-mother she had grown attached to, had gone shopping with, etc. V.J. mentioned that it had been hard for her to concentrate on school with all that was happening. But she was trying because it had been important to her dad for her to get good grades so she had actually pulled up her poor grades to an all-time high since his death.
Amazing how quickly perspective changes when we stop judging and start listening with our hearts.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Sweet, sweet, sweet!
My client "Sarah" is about as stressed out as anyone I have ever worked with. Her ex-husband is volatile and not complying with several key court-ordered actions. Of her three children, two have serious medically-diagnosed psychiatric conditions. Frequent court battles have left her frazzled and she has been hanging on by a thread. Her physician urged her to seek me out, issuing a formal prescription for my work.
The last time she came in, her youngest son was with her. He's ten and struggles with attention and anger management challenges. A beautiful boy, he sat in my waiting room very patiently for the first hour of her appointment. Sarah and I have just begun our journey together so we're still in the foundation-laying stage. Lots of EFT and relaxation, including the CDs I've been making for her in my office that she can listen to at home. The deeper work, the Essential Healing (tm) will come later.
When it came time for me to record a new relaxation CD for Sarah, I suggested her son join her.
I pulled the cushions off the waiting room couch to make a comfortable spot for him to lie down. By the time I came back into my inner office, he was tucked in at his mother's side on my famous "big blue chair." And there he stayed.
I don't have the words to describe the sweetness of that recording session for me. I chose one of my favorite scripted inductions, one I call "Core Empowerment," adapted from one of Del Morrill's scripts. I love it because it reinforces the fact that everything we need to live a happy, healthy life -- no matter what -- is within us: comfort, security, wisdom, wellness, confidence, success, peace, etc. It was as important a message for the son as for the mom.
After all these years of sharing it with clients, the script is familiar enough that I only needed to glance down every so often, giving me lots of opportunity to fill my eyes with the sweet scene before me: Mother and son, holding each other, completely relaxed and contented, enjoying a respite of peace in an otherwise extremely chaotic world.
No matter when Sarah listens to the CD, she'll have a sensory memory of her son at her side, both of them relaxed and peaceful. And the next time I record that particular script for someone, I'll have the heart-memory of these precious moments of sanctuary I was able to provide for one mother and son.
The last time she came in, her youngest son was with her. He's ten and struggles with attention and anger management challenges. A beautiful boy, he sat in my waiting room very patiently for the first hour of her appointment. Sarah and I have just begun our journey together so we're still in the foundation-laying stage. Lots of EFT and relaxation, including the CDs I've been making for her in my office that she can listen to at home. The deeper work, the Essential Healing (tm) will come later.
When it came time for me to record a new relaxation CD for Sarah, I suggested her son join her.
I pulled the cushions off the waiting room couch to make a comfortable spot for him to lie down. By the time I came back into my inner office, he was tucked in at his mother's side on my famous "big blue chair." And there he stayed.
I don't have the words to describe the sweetness of that recording session for me. I chose one of my favorite scripted inductions, one I call "Core Empowerment," adapted from one of Del Morrill's scripts. I love it because it reinforces the fact that everything we need to live a happy, healthy life -- no matter what -- is within us: comfort, security, wisdom, wellness, confidence, success, peace, etc. It was as important a message for the son as for the mom.
After all these years of sharing it with clients, the script is familiar enough that I only needed to glance down every so often, giving me lots of opportunity to fill my eyes with the sweet scene before me: Mother and son, holding each other, completely relaxed and contented, enjoying a respite of peace in an otherwise extremely chaotic world.
No matter when Sarah listens to the CD, she'll have a sensory memory of her son at her side, both of them relaxed and peaceful. And the next time I record that particular script for someone, I'll have the heart-memory of these precious moments of sanctuary I was able to provide for one mother and son.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Perfect!
With spring in the air and some extra time on my hands, this seemed a good opportunity to thank some of the physicians who refer to me. Like the Easter bunny, I delivered flower arrangements yesterday to various medical offices in San Ramon and Danville. It was a pleasant activity and put me in a state of gratitude.
In addition to some of my old favorites, I decided to reach out to a fertility specialist who had been recommended by one of the other docs. My work is so very helpful with fertility and I've been searching for the right specialist in the medical community to partner with. My networking efforts in this direction have been met with a deafening silence ... until now.
Here's what Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh said in her thank you email: "This is exactly what I've been looking for. I've been referring patients to online resources for relaxation cd's and info on meditation etc but having you provide this as a resource would be superb."
Yes. Yes! Exactly what I wanted: a win-win partnership. Perfect! Thank you.
Check out this extraordinary fertility specialist's great website: www.draimee.org
In addition to some of my old favorites, I decided to reach out to a fertility specialist who had been recommended by one of the other docs. My work is so very helpful with fertility and I've been searching for the right specialist in the medical community to partner with. My networking efforts in this direction have been met with a deafening silence ... until now.
Here's what Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh said in her thank you email: "This is exactly what I've been looking for. I've been referring patients to online resources for relaxation cd's and info on meditation etc but having you provide this as a resource would be superb."
Yes. Yes! Exactly what I wanted: a win-win partnership. Perfect! Thank you.
Check out this extraordinary fertility specialist's great website: www.draimee.org
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